Imagine you had a job in which you had to sift through forgotten or lost belongings. Describe a day in which you come upon something peculiar, or tell a story about something interesting you find in a pile.
So, today’s twist: If you’d like to continue our serial challenge, also reflect on the theme of “lost and found” more generally in this post.
Previously, I wrote a post about the death of my mother, and in a second post, I wrote about finding peace. This would be a third in the series, about lost and found, and putting it all together.
As I stated, it was the driving in a pothole that pushed me over the edge. It was a pretty deep pothole, and my husband, a mechanic and truck driver, had to make a negative comment about it too. It was a long drive from Idaho to North Dakota, and I was on edge and tired. Nothing was going as planned. With my mother gone, I felt like I had not just driven in a hole, but fell into a pit of despair too. I was sinking into depression.
What did I find in that hole? I found parts of myself that I thought were gone: anger, hate, bitterness, guilt, inadequacy, and pain. I found that God was still my strength, and that He still showed me mercy, love, and forgiveness, even though I behaved stupidly. Even though I couldn’t feel His presence, He was there.
I found that I am not a person to give up, and that with God’s strength, I can get through those times when I am weak.
I used the time after the funeral, to take some EMT classes. I got licensed as an EMT, joined the local fire department and ambulance crew, and tried my best to help other people, since I couldn’t help my mom. It was my way of trying to make up for not being there for her. I found that many people experience many painful things. I found that everyone has bad days, some way worse than many could imagine. I found these things broke my heart, but I also found that I could relate to the loss of others, because of the many losses in my own life. I found that I had compassion for others who were experiencing painful situations.
With my mom’s death, I lost my temper, but found knowledge, compassion, and the ability to help others. Through my EMT course, I found that when my mom died, I was experiencing normal emotions of stress: irritability, inability to concentrate, anxiety, guilt, isolation, and loss of interest in things that I once cared about. I have lost most of the negative impacts of stress, as I mentioned in a previous post, I found some peace.
I found the verse that talks about all things working for good to them that love God, is true!
Many people feel lost and are depressed, and I hope they can find peace and comfort and have faith to know God loves them, cares for them, and will be there for them always, even if they don’t feel Him. Stick it out, and see what your hard times in life will help you find!